June 17, 2004. Adelphi, MD
Local canine celebrity "Buddy," star of many various print ads, and book covers, was today caught red pawed with human
porn paraphenalia. When asked for a comment all the handsome golden boy had to say was "Wooo, wooo, grrrrr wooof" and then
he sighed. Clearly the upstanding pup was eminating that he was framed. The culprit was most likely one of his two roomates,
both half breds, and both had something to gain. The most likely candidate would be "Scarecrow" however this reporter questions
that judgement as all "Crow" was witnessed doing, or seemed capable of, was sleeping and running in clockwise circles.
The more likely mastermind would be "Toto," the resident bitch. Though she seems quiet enough she was witnessed jumping
into action at the mention of a "ball" or "treat." Amazingly the seemingly elderly dog managed to improve her wobbly waddle
into a full blown run.
It all started when Buddy's owner, Charlie Mann, had to leave this morning for a business trip. Things were fine all
day, barring not going to get the paper in the morning, but then things turned eerie when darkness fell and a thunderstorm
came in. Agitated by the storm, all three roomates sought shelter under various pieces of furniture. During this hiatus Buddy
dissapeared. When we asked "Crow" where he had seen Buddy go, he had no comment, nor any other thoughts. Toto was not available
for questioning then as she was dreaming of chasing bones.
Rare pictures have been caught of this incident and "Mann's Best Friend" may be looking at a loss of face.
Stay tuned as his trial begins tomorrow.
Reported by: Whiny Woman